Here we go again, SUV fans. There's another effort brewing to make you feel guilty for driving the vehicle you want and can afford. CNN says that a California company, TerraPass, will gladly take your money and promise to remove the CO2 emissions you produce with your vehicle out of the atmosphere. A HUMMER H2 will run you $160; a Chevy Cobalt, $40.

The principle is like the emissions credits that car companies themselves can trade and use to relieve themselves of CAFE debts. TerraPass buys credits from clean power sources like windmills and, yes, dairy farms that use anaerobic digesters to produce electricity. There's even a carbon-emission calculator on their site to properly gauge how much you need to contribute to the good of the earth.

The company, started by MBA grads from Penn's Wharton business school, is a for-profit that keeps itself in greed check by limiting profits to 10 percent. Only 620 of the passes have been sold thus far - and according to TerraPass, it's almost impossible to convince drivers of the biggest SUVs that they're a menace to the environment.

So if you have extra cash lying around, as well as a massive backlog of auto-induced doubt, go ahead and venture to the TerraPass Web site. Me, I'd rather put it towards some regular unleaded.

You'll notice on today's edition of TCC, we've posted pictures of the new Benz S-Class. Some of you out there already have checkbooks in hand. And maybe some of you are ready to start a petition like the one that telegraphed Bimmer fans' displeasure with the Chris Bangle team's 7-Series.

Yes, it seems like Mercedes is wandering off into art-car territory. The question is, will their foray be as critically skewered as BMW's venture?

Remember when the shape of German cars was predictable? The design philosophy of "one sausage, three sizes" was utterly predictable - but it worked, didn't it? You knew what a Benz looked like, and the Seventies S-Class still stands as one of the most functionally beautiful German auto designs I can think of - not to mention the car's legendary solidity and heft. Too, the first few generations of BMW 7-Series sedans were lovingly and favorably compared with bank vaults, not with the various Guggenheims and Gehry palaces scattered around the world.

Then things changed. Maybe it started when Benz erred too far into vault territory with the early 1990s S-Class, a steamer ship of a sedan if ever there were one. Still, Toyota thought enough of it to mimic the shape with the Lexus LS that lives with us today. BMW responded by deadening down the 7-Series, and Benz corrected with the most recent S-Class--a lithe luxury warrior of the highest caliber, at least from a styling perspective.

Today the big German guns are firing into strange directions. BMW's 7-Series is the poster child for taking artsy design themes too seriously. (After all, they're supposed to be "ultimate driving machines," not outdated rolling avant-gardisms.) The Benz Maybach is contrived from most exterior views, though not as overtly overstyled. You can count the Rolls Phantom in the same group, too.

The new S-Class dials things back a bit, but you can see hints of Maybach and even VW cropping up in its pronounced wheelhouses and sloping tail. At first glance, it doesn't seem like progress--and maybe it's too much to think that these hulking Germans ever will achieve the lyric beauty of Jaguars or even Cadillacs past. But is it a good idea to hitch your fortunes to a design wagon that doesn't have a clear sense of direction?

First of all – HAPPY FATHER’S DAY – at least to all Dads. Now let’s get down to business, as this marks my 30th year of receiving yet another tie, or neckwear, or Steinkirk, or bow tie, or bandanna, or bolo, or some form of neck wrapping apparatus or fashionable piece of clothing to go around my neck… so why not give me (DAD) a new Testarrosa, or a DB9, or even a less expensive C6?

Let me share with you a bit of history on this ever-so-popular, “universally accepted”, most common gift of gratitude to Dad.

Many events in the history of humanity eventually fade into oblivion, but others, leave their indelible marks for the entire world to see. More than three centuries ago, the Croats initiated one such influential occurrence. Although started in the 17th century in a small region on the Adriatic coast, the consequences of this event are still very much evident the world over as 650 million people now wear the ubiquitous symbol of Croatia around their necks, close to their hearts. Believe it or not Croatia is the mother country of the modern necktie but archaeological evidence of the use of neckties goes back to the Chinese and the Romans almost two millenniums back.

Through the years, many different names, shapes and styles on neck wears have come and go, but in the 1920s a pioneering Paris fashion designer, Jean Patou, invented the designer tie. He made ties from women's clothing material including patterns inspired by the latest art movements of the day, Cubism and Art Deco. Targeted toward women purchasers, his expensive ties were highly successful. Today women buy 80 percent of ties sold in the US. Therefore ties are often displayed near the perfume or women's clothing departments.

Designer ties made quite a splash in the 1960s, when designers from London's Carnaby Street devised the Peacock Look and churned out wide, colorful ties in a variety of flowered, abstract and psychedelic patterns. Know mod (for modern) styles were the forerunners of the hippie movement, which often dispensed with neckties altogether, often favoring colorful scarves at the neck, or wearing open shirts with chains or medallions.

Today, designer ties abound. Designers create some themselves, while others are made by manufacturers under licensing agreements. And now, with the advent of mass media, celebrities such as sports heroes, movie actors, and popular singers would create a variety of neckwear trends. Like Bogie - Humphrey Bogart often sported bow ties, while another actor, Ronald Coleman, was considered one of Hollywood's sharpest dressers with his tailored, elegant look. Elvis Presley sported an old fashioned neckerchief, and helped prolong and out of date style a few more years, and recently, Regis Philbin left his mark with his luxurious looking ties in solid colors to match his shirts while hosting the Millionaire’s Game.

I think the best way to sum this entire mess up is with this quote from Chic Simple written by Michael Solomon, "They are not particularly comfortable. They always go out of style (or back in as soon as we have thrown them out). And they are not even practical. Yet the tie remains an essential part of a man's wardrobe because it unites all the elements of a man's outfit, giving him instant respectability and, above all, it is the ultimate symbol of individuality"

All true, but – may I please have my Corvette?

While I am afraid of becoming the official TCC Confidential crankpot, I'm justified as usual because the people who write and enforce car laws are idiot Nazis who must die.

In this case it's the city of New Orleans and the arcane parking rules that govern the French Quarter. Now, thanks to the equally arcane rules that govern marriage and property rights in the U.S., I'm allowed to own my own corner of the Quarter and call it my own. It's not huge, but hell, it's not Picayune, Miss.

The parking rules, however, are as picayune as Barney Fife would write. First there's the hurdle alone of getting a parking permit for the Quarter, which you have to have, for fear of getting multiple tickets in the span of three hours, which I've done. Once you have a driver's license and some sort of proof of residence, you then have to hunt down the residential parking office which is, not coincidentally, in a neighborhood where parking isn't even an issue, much less governed by rules. The permit is $15. The registration fees in Louisiana are among the most onerous in the nation already.

Having a permit, like in most big cities, is just a hunting license. But in New Orleans, the game is especially elusive. You can't park in front of driveways. You can't park near fire hydrants, of course. You can't park within 20 feet of a stop sign, a totally un-indicated law that crops up only on - you guessed it - the actual parking ticket itself. As for streetcleaning, if you leave your car on a "short" street in the Quarter (all the Saints - Peter, Ann, Philip, Louis) on a Tuesday morning it gets towed so they can brush away last night's grime. Long streets (Bourbon, Dauphine, Chartres) get the scrubdown on Thursdays. The end result is, that at any given moment, subtracting out all these legalities, horse-drawn carriages, Dumpsters in place for renovating Creole townhouses, and valet spots for the microbrand hotels and guest houses, there's only about three legal spots to dock your car.

Top it all off with the roads. In the Quarter they're clogged with conventioneers getting arrested for showing skin for 99-cent beads. Anywhere else in Louisiana, they're about as interesting as said skin.

Parking isn't quite as bad as moving things in your home here, though. The police want $200 cash to block the street so your moving truck won't get ticketed.

So this is why the parking Nazis must die.

Don't even get me started on tourists who pee on your tires!

Yeap… you read right… with the amazing and ever popular comeback of the HEMI, it seems everywhere we turn there is a HEMI, or there will be a HEMI, or someone is looking at a HEMI, or considering buying a HEMI.

If you live in Miami like I do, HEMI seems to be the ‘mum’ word; heck you can even get a HEMI sandwich at your local Cuban restaurant or go to the beach to get a sun HEMI… oh, by the way, Mum is a band from Iceland (Gunnar Orn Tynes and Orvar Aoreyjarson Smarason, and twin sisters Gyda and Kristin Anna Valtysdottir) that debuted with the double-LP Yesterday Was Dramatic Today Is Ok… (in case you’re wondering).

So if you thought the word HEMI could get no bigger, or better, or larger, think again, as DaimlerChrysler launched a new edition of Hemi.com (http://www.Hemi.com) today. The improved Web site has new stories, new photos, more in-depth history and specifications, and new multimedia features-including Hemi® sounds, and the site also covers the new 6.1L version.

Hemi.com presents three newly interactive historical timelines showing the development of all versions of the Hemi engine, starting with the legendary Chrysler FirePower Hemi in 1951 that won the NASCAR race in Detroit and the legendary 426 Hemi that revolutionized NASCAR and NHRA racing, as well as the new generation 5.7L and 6.1L Hemi engines. And for you gear heads and HEMI buffs, there are tons of vintage photographs and biographies featuring the people who were behind the most famous automotive powerplant in the world.

So whether you wanna HEMI this or HEMI that… here is more HEMI thangs for you!