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Archive for April, 2006

GM-UAW Announce New Joint Fund for Retirees

By Jerry Flint

(Don’t believe a word of the following story. It’s what Mr. Flint thinks is funny.)

Detroit (May 1) — General Motors Corporation and the United Auto Workers union today announced the creation of a joint fund to deal with what they called “one of the most serious problems worrying retirees.”

The idea is to create a fund to provide money for the education of the grandchildren of GM retirees.

It will be known as GIFT, for Grandparents’ Interests Fund Trust, and is unique among the many joint efforts set up by the company and the union.

What makes it particularly unique is the jointness — or lack of — for the funding. Under the plan, the retirees contribution would be to name the amount they want saved each year for their grandchildren. They don’t have to come up with any actual cash. GM’s part of the plan will be to put up the money.

Retirees will be able to ask for as much as $5000 a year to be set aside — by GM — for their grandchildren’s education. There can be no more than $25,000 per grandchild in any retiree’s trust fund, and the company will contribute a maximum of $500 million in any one year.

“We know this is a constant worry for our retirees and we believe this program will go a long way to alleviate their concerns,” said Rick Wagoner, the chairman and chief executive of GM. “It will be a burden, yes, but what is more important to us is the admiration and respect we have for our former employees. There is no end to what we owe them. It’s just the right thing to do.”

”Our surveys show that this is one of the most serious problems faced by our retirees,” said Dick Shoemaker, UAW vice president in charge of the union’s GM department. “We’ve covered their pensions, we’ve covered their medical costs and their drug costs. There’s enough to cover the pool cleaning, the SUV, and the help they give their children who may still be working at GM, or in the Jobs Bank, which gives them a full salary even if they are not working. But the retirees know their grandchildren won’t be working for GM because of the company’s problems. So they know the kids will need more education. This fund will cover some of that.”

In an unrelated announcement, GM said it has cancelled plans for a new car architecture known informally as “Zeta Lite.” The architecture, which is GM’s term to describe the underlying basis of a line of vehicles, was rear drive and was to be used on cars such as the proposed Chevy Camaro, Pontiac GTO, and a new line of mid-sized Buicks.

“We just don't have enough money for the program,” said a GM spokesman, “what with our other responsibilities. We’ll just have to get by with what we’ve got.”
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Domino’s Delivers Hot, Fresh…and Dead

You can get pizza in 30 minutes or less — and in Philadelphia, no surprise, you can also get a dead body if you know the right people. In this case, the right person is a Domino’s delivery dude who was making scratch on the side by using the same car to bring pies and dead guys to their final destinations. William Bethel, 24, initially was pulled over for driving without proper inspection tags and without a valid license in his 1993 Buick, reports TheSmokingGun.com. Bethel’s Buick contained hot pizzas as well as a stretcher that he used to transport bodies. The dual-use posed no legal problems, but Bethel did get $400 in fines for the tag and license problems. So…should we get Chinese, or pizza, or both?
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The Week in Reverse



President Bush's embrace of ethanol and CAFE boosts: is it just us, or does it feel like the hug you get from a nephew who really wants to be in your will?

Ford wants a piece of the reality-TV pie. Wait....it's coming to us....okay, how about Flavor Flav and Elena Ford in a second round of Flavor of Love? Anyone? Anyone?

Only about half of Nissan's West Coast employees are making the move to Nashville. Two possible unintended consequences: former chief Jed Connelly ends up over at Toyota for a scary one-two punch, and Kenny Chesney gets lunch and a lovely bouquet from Jim Morton for Secretary's Day. (Who was it that suggested the Nissan move would be one unique launching pad for Morton to run for governor of Tennessee, anyway?)

Speaking of Toyota, they're going to be all over the mobile edition of Fox's TV hit, Prison Break. A prior deal to sponsor HBO's Oz fell apart when Toyota's Jim Press and the dude who played Adibisi wore the same jaunty little hat to a kickoff meeting for the creative.

South Korea's police are all up in Hyundai chairman Chung Mong-Koo's junk, arresting the chairman for all kinds of financial misdoings. Suggested reading list for prison: the translated version of Steve King's Shawshank Redemption.

Jerry Flint made a mistake: Pontiac's G6 Convertible is indeed in production and a few examples have been sent out to the dead-tree publications, for God only knows what purpose. First reader with a proof of purchase can send us their driving impressions for cool free junk.

And finally this week, we're pretty appalled that a Philly-area pizza guy was using his car for double duty, also delivering corpses to funeral parlors--yes, in 30 minutes or less, we're told. Our question is not only how much, but who tips the guy?
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Going Condo — With Your Car

Boom cities across the country are attracting intown hipsters with the lure of high-rise living. But where does that leave your collection of Facel Vegas and Chevrolet Vegas? Out in the cold? Not if you’re in a city that’s getting Park Place Car Condos, one of the latest entries in the burgeoning world of storage facilities geared directly at gearheads. Ranging from 580 to 1800 square feet, the condos have bathrooms, air conditioning, and 24-hour security, along with concierge services like detailing. Park Place has its first facilities up in Lauderdale and Miami for urban pioneers without the garage space to store their wheels, and the company is planning other outlets in tony places like Scottsdale and Vegas. Prices start from about $140,000 — or what a people condo in downtown Miami cost about ten years ago. Take a look at www.parkplacecarcondo.com and see if you’re worthy.
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Lost Actress Hoosegow-Bound After DUI

Lost nerds might be debating the map of the fictional TV island, or maybe how many nachos the big guy could put down if he were back on the mainland. But at least one main character will be debating the merits of prison food and the price of not getting beaten up, valued in cigarettes, now that she’s chosen jail for her DUI conviction. Michelle Rodriguez—the show’s Ana Lucia—will pay $500 and spend five days in prison for drunk driving last December 1 on the island of Oahu, where the TV show is produced. Rodriguez, who chose jail over 240 hours of community service, blew 0.17 on the breathalyzer and had priors for drunk driving in L.A. in 2004.
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